Learn you partners "love language"

People speak the 5 different languages when it comes to showing and receiving love, once you understand and accept your partners language things will become much easier for you in all other aspects of your relationship.
Try to figure out which one you are and which one your partner is.

1. Words of Affirmation
          -If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. If this is your language it is hard for you to let go of things that are said to you good or bad. Hearing the sweet nothings from your love mean the world to you. (writing a poem, singing a song for them, love letters, i love you notes, these things will give you big PLUSES for the people who speak this language)

2.Quality Time
          -Nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. (this is my love language) A date that gives the both of you a lot of time to just be together is a big plus (going for a walk, going out to dinner, a road trip, a picnic)

3. Receiving Gifts 
          -Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures. (a photo album, a camera with a note saying it is to take pictures of the two of you, any gift with purpose behind it showing that you listen and care.)

4. Acts of Service
          -Do you (or does your significant other) love it when you do chores around the house? Do you find yourself getting more from them and find them happier when you ask what you can do to help out, or do it unasked?  Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.(clean the house or car while they are away leaving notes saying you did it for them, Pick up the dry cleaning, call on your way home from work asking if there is anything that you could do for them on the way home)

5. Physical Touch
          -This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.(when you see this person give them a hug, go for a walk holding hands, when you kiss them touch their cheek softly, console them by touching their arm or letting them cry on your shoulder, when they are talking to you and you want to show you are listening put your hand on their knee)

I hope this helps you learn a little more about your partner, discus each others love languages together and tell talk about how you are going to make one another feel more loved.

Xs and Os is taking a cruise

The X's & O's Lingerie Cruise (soon to be cleverly named) is well underway in the planning stages!! Met w/ Debi King to go over possibilities & brainstorm! Workshop/s offered for the couples, guest speaker/s, SPECIAL GOODIES delivered to enjoy at "bed-time", "Homework assignments" for building/rekindling the flame in the bedroom, etc! Who can say NO to Time Away from the MADNESS of LIFE?

The date will be picked soon it is between Dec 6 (a four day cruise) or Feb 20th (5 day cruise) 

If you are interested or want to hear more i will be posting updates on it while i get them! 

The cruise will include a chair dance lesson by yours truly as well to practice that night with your lover! :)

Music sets the mood.

Make a mood CD. It has been proven that music impacts our mood a LOT. For women, we a lot of times set ourselves up for failure in bed and if we start doing things purposefully to put ourselves in the mood then you will have it on your mind and that is half the battle. I dont know why but i LOVE nine inch nails, the lead singers voice automatically puts me in the mood so i listen to my itunes to that the days that i want to be in the mood for my hubby! What is your mood music?

Xs and Os Lingerie and Gift Boutique

I added a picture link to their online store at the bottom of my blog. If there is any product not on the site that you have seen they can order ANYTHING for you. Also there a hundreds more products in the store location than on the website. I believe in this store so much! They really focus on the couple and their needs and CARE about you! They are not just there to make a sale, they educate you on the products because they do not want you to be disappointed. It is so clean and light inside and it was the first adult shop that I did not feel dirty walking into.

Role Play

Role Playing is a fun way to keep you marriage fresh. I recently asked the girls on http://www.asailorsanchor.com/forums/index.php (a forum for navy wives) about new roll playing ideas. Here are some costumes that i have (some are not available right now) Some are pictures of me and some are models.  i love all of my costumes!

1.Dorothy
The Costume
http://xsandoslingerie.com/dorothygirl.aspx  

2.Gingerbread Girl
The costume is not available right now but will be available around the holidays and i will post the link when it is back out!

3.french maid
Costume
http://xsandoslingerie.com/charmingchambermaid.aspx

4.Nurse 
Costume
http://xsandoslingerie.com/nurse.aspx
I really want those shoes though! and i have fishnets with medical crosses on top instead of the white! Oh and the stethoscope actually works well!

5. Safari Girl (lion tamer) I would have posted a picture of me in it but i was pregnant and i was trick or treating with my son :)
The costume
http://xsandoslingerie.com/safarigirl.aspx
stockings

http://xsandoslingerie.com/9040lycraindustrialnetstockings.aspx

 

 

6.Sailor Girl 
Costume
you would have to call in (it is available) just ask for the sailor outfit Victoria Rocca wore, they know me well
(760)737-9469  the shop is called X's and O's Lingerie and Gift Boutique


7. I have your usual hooker/ stripper getup!
here are some items i have for this
corset/lingerie  - here are a few examples
http://xsandoslingerie.com/alluringset.aspx
http://xsandoslingerie.com/evacorset.aspxhttp://xsandoslingerie.com/butterflyjacquardcorset.aspx
http://xsandoslingerie.com/thedivaset.aspx
garter belts are always a nice touch for this look
http://xsandoslingerie.com/stretchlacegarterbelt.aspx
http://xsandoslingerie.com/stretchjacquardandembroiderygaterbelt.aspx
and stockings
http://xsandoslingerie.com/9014fencenetstockings.aspx
http://xsandoslingerie.com/9112fishnetthighhighswbackseam.aspx
http://xsandoslingerie.com/9040lycraindustrialnetstockings.aspx
Shoes
http://xsandoslingerie.com/601-brook.aspx
http://xsandoslingerie.com/609-nancieblackandpink.aspx

Mix and match and aspects of this one can be parts of other costumes you have! i make Halloween and holidays an excuse to buy a new outfit and my husband is very happy for that!

8. Raggedy Anne
 This was my first one i ever got! i love it but it is not on the website but they can order this one as well. i believe the stockings come with it! :)


I believe that is all of the costumes that i have right now! if you have any ideas! let me know! 

Get rid of the excuses

Get rid of the excuses. If you are married the times when you feel like saying no and making excuses those are the times when you as a couple need it! Sex is meant to be in your marriage take that time and it actually helps with the exact things you complain about. you will get better sleep, be more relaxed, and will bring you closer together emotionally and physically.
If you aren't feeling very close and that is why you don't want to do it! what gets you closer than exploring each others bodies! Do not be afraid to experiment an make it fun together, you will learn so much about each other. Also do not be scared to talk about your wants and needs in bed. communicate, 9 times out of 10 he wants to hear those things! Go to the shop together and pick out lingerie or a new toy.
GUYS girls want your opinions and want you to tell them what you want to see them in.
Have fun!
We are called to be one flesh and the missionary position is not the only one! As a Christian woman i want to be the best lover i can. Do research find different things to surprise him with.
for example- surprise him with some oral, but instead of the usual put a vibrator against your cheek! he wont know what hit him. try different lubes and toys! see what works for you! but remember it is not a replacement for him it is for you to use together!
dress up, bring a little role playing into the bedroom. you can make just about anything sexy. Be a Dr, a student, the teacher, a pirate, a zookeeper, just be out of the ordinary. :) i have a lot of costumes and love wearing them. it is easier for me to be more wild if i am not "me"
buy a new game! that way you don't have to come up with the ideas the game will tell you what to do. they are fun but make a deal that it is OK to skip things if uncomfortable.
try something new! it can be an all the time thing it doesn't have to be saved for a special occasion!
check out http://xsandoslingerie.com/ for some ideas and gifts! it is the shop i work for. we do home parties and you can just come in but you don't have to shop there i just want you to have a good relationship and get close and know it is OK!