Something has been brought to my attention.

I was written by a reader about a subject that i believe a lot of women can relate to! MEN READ THIS!
When a woman says she is almost there, that means what you are doing is working. So when she says this keep doing the same thing. Do not change it up! When you do this she loses the momentum she had built up to the BIG O and this is very frustrating! dont go faster, dont go harder, just keep going!  UNLESS SHE ASKS YOU TO CHANGE IT OR DO IT A DIFFERENT WAY!
thank you
i do respond to you when you have a specific concern or want me to research something for you! also if you want to find the perfect item for your pleasure!

Learn you partners "love language"

People speak the 5 different languages when it comes to showing and receiving love, once you understand and accept your partners language things will become much easier for you in all other aspects of your relationship.
Try to figure out which one you are and which one your partner is.

1. Words of Affirmation
          -If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. If this is your language it is hard for you to let go of things that are said to you good or bad. Hearing the sweet nothings from your love mean the world to you. (writing a poem, singing a song for them, love letters, i love you notes, these things will give you big PLUSES for the people who speak this language)

2.Quality Time
          -Nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. (this is my love language) A date that gives the both of you a lot of time to just be together is a big plus (going for a walk, going out to dinner, a road trip, a picnic)

3. Receiving Gifts 
          -Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures. (a photo album, a camera with a note saying it is to take pictures of the two of you, any gift with purpose behind it showing that you listen and care.)

4. Acts of Service
          -Do you (or does your significant other) love it when you do chores around the house? Do you find yourself getting more from them and find them happier when you ask what you can do to help out, or do it unasked?  Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.(clean the house or car while they are away leaving notes saying you did it for them, Pick up the dry cleaning, call on your way home from work asking if there is anything that you could do for them on the way home)

5. Physical Touch
          -This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.(when you see this person give them a hug, go for a walk holding hands, when you kiss them touch their cheek softly, console them by touching their arm or letting them cry on your shoulder, when they are talking to you and you want to show you are listening put your hand on their knee)

I hope this helps you learn a little more about your partner, discus each others love languages together and tell talk about how you are going to make one another feel more loved.

Music sets the mood.

Make a mood CD. It has been proven that music impacts our mood a LOT. For women, we a lot of times set ourselves up for failure in bed and if we start doing things purposefully to put ourselves in the mood then you will have it on your mind and that is half the battle. I dont know why but i LOVE nine inch nails, the lead singers voice automatically puts me in the mood so i listen to my itunes to that the days that i want to be in the mood for my hubby! What is your mood music?

X's and O's Home Party (new info)

Ladies in the San Diego/LA area!!
Any occasion is a good one to have an X's and O's party! If you like to have fun and learn about many different adult products and feel them to see the difference! We also have tons of sexy lingerie! Also our number one product for military wives (Clone a Willie)

-Great prices!!!

-we have thousands of products that we do carry and we can order any product you wish to purchase

-We can come to you or you can come to out store location in Escondido for your party

-the hostess or the bride to be gets product worth 10% of the purchases made at the party.

-The hostess gets her choice of 10% off he purchase or a free pole aerobics class

-Anyone who makes a purchase of $100 dollars or more gets a free pole aerobics class

-If you make a purchase of $25 or more you receive a lifetime %15 off our products

-We ship for free (if we have to order outside of what we have)

If you have any questions or want to book your party let me know, you can either write me in the feed but you will get a faster response if you email me at Usanavictoria@yahoo.com

What is sexy?

Sexy is confidence! If you are not feeling confident do something to build it! give yourself the tools and knowledge to be that confident woman that is in each and every one of us. It may be deep down there but we all have a fire that burns and wants to be sexy. Go out of your comfort zone and push yourself to try new and exciting things!
some ideas
1.try a pole aerobics class
2.buy some costumes
3.try some new toys
4.go to a sex therepist
5.dress the part (try some tighter fitting clothes that are still classy, confidence is in knowing your own body and dressing in a way that is not overly sexed up but is showing just enough to keep you guessing.)
6.look into the other persons eyes when talking to them
7.good posture (this is a HUGE one, it shows that you have integrity and are comfortable in your environment)
These are just a few suggestions to make you feel more sexy! It is very important when having an amazing sex life! 

He doesnt want it!

I know the stereotype is that women do not want to have sex and men are frustrated, but i have found with many of my friends it is the men who cant keep up which can be frustrating for the women. Sometimes this makes the men want sex even less because they feel like something is wrong with them and they dont measure up to their sexual partner so they do not want to try. The biggest thing is communication! Talk through all of your issues and let him know that you are attracted to him and you think he is sexy! the words "sexy" and "hot" make men jump out of their skin. Also let him know how great he is in bed and that you just want more of him! If it feels like that is not getting to him then there is a bigger issue, either erectile dysfunction, which he could be ashamed of and doesn't want to go to the doctor, or something even deeper. Talking is the biggest way for men or women to get their lover to want them in bed!

Lover's Paintbox

 

http://xsandoslingerie.com/loverspaintbox.aspx

My husband and I got this as one of our wedding presents from a groomsmen. It tasted SO yummy and i am very picky about chocolates. The jars have a generous amount in them and the paintbrush was really easy to use!  You will have a blast drawing and writing fun things on each other's bodies!

Set contains: 2 oz each of Kama Sutra dark, milk and white chocolate body paints and a body paintbrush to create your masterpiece. 

Aphrodite

AMAZING! i love this! We were actually looking for a back massager and this works great for that but it is also a wonderful toy as well! The medium setting has an inferred heating element which feels awesome on the lower back. It holds a charge for a very long time and it is rechargeable so you do not have to buy batteries over and over.
http://xsandoslingerie.com/aphrodite.aspx


As seen on Oprah, this popular sex toy is back in stock! Relax yourself completely with this infrared massager that has soft, interchangeable heads and two speeds of vibration. This product is designed to provide powerful vibrations for intense orgasms and muscle tension relief (as is our Rechargeable Infrared Massager. Hand-held massager has an infrared head on one side and three interchangeable sleeves on the other for a variety of sensations Massaging head with Flexo-Joint is designed to move with you and can be used for muscle relaxation as well as erogenous zone stimulation Choose from high and low vibration, with infrared heat available on low to provide warming, soothing sensations Attachments are smooth, pinpoint, and nubby for a unique feel, and they are very easy to add and remove Rechargeable massager comes with a 110-volt AC charger to charge the internal battery (compatible with standard US outlets only). Please Note: When in use, the massager operates off its internal battery and will only last as long as the charge lasts (12 hours of charge = 1 hour of use); it is not designed to charge while in use or to use while being plugged in.

Warming Heart Massager

This one is super cool. There is a little disc inside the heart and when you bend it inside it will make a pop sound and the whole thing turns firm and hearts up. it stays hot for a long time. When you finish you put it in boiling water and it goes back to its normal feel until you want to use it again!
http://xsandoslingerie.com/amazinghotheartmassager.aspx

A bed of roses

I love it when my husband puts out roses, but girls can do it for their guys as well. it makes the atmosphere so nice! i like to bring them with me whenever we are staying in a hotel or go on vacation. Also i will randomly light the candles and put out the rose pedals when i know he has had a long day, even if it is just to give him a massage!
http://xsandoslingerie.com/abedofroses.aspx

here is the description on the website
This wonderfully romantic travel pack contains 4 tea lights, scented silk rose petals, and an invitation for you and your sweetheart! By using the bed of roses you can create a safe and romantic environment that can spark the passion in your marriage! This is one of the easiest ways for a husband to score some romantic points. Next time you are planning a get away for the two of you, don't forget the bed of roses.

My reason for this blog

I have a strong desire to empower and give knowledge to couples and give them the tools to make their marriage and sex life a success. I strongly believe sex is best when saved for marriage, research (including self experience) has shown the hurtful affects of promiscuity prior to marriage but there is a way to overcome it.
You are more likely to not have as strong of an intimate bond with your spouse  if you have not remained faithful before marriage. Make it fun, know your body, and tell each other what you need! You need to be open to explore different avenues as well as be comfortable enough to tell your partner if you are not comfortable with something.
As a Christian woman i know that the times when i do not want to have sex with my husband are the times i need to the most. The intimacy and the bond that it creates helps you overcome so much and brings you closer together and into a realm where you can talk about key issues.

If you have any questions or issues you would like me to discuss i am an open book. Do not be afraid to ask no question is stupid!